I've got some bad habbits

I put on some make-up...

Today was great, I got home happy and mum had made some good food and I was really happy and so on... I went up to the computer and found an e-mail from my friend filled with goodies and as I sat here trying to study, I put on some make-up beacue I was bored and then Frank tweeted (and my whole timeline gets raped, lol) and somehow when I read the name Frank Iero I began to cry, still not sure why. I feel really empty right now and I did something I've told myself that I'd never ever do again. It's just that I can controll the physical pain but not the mental pain. Hope that my mum won't notice and I'll have to wear long sleeves tomorrow.

Things are under controll, I know that you'll think I'm really fucked up but I promise it won't happen again! Oh, and how are you gonna know I'll keep that promise, well, I'm not sure I will though.

I hope noone will find this and go like "You fucking emo" fisrt of all emo is a lable and lables are for soup cans and second of all: This blog is my diary, I write what I want.

Please don't hate me!

Alright.

Tomorrow I will be off to the hairdresser and dye it red and cut it off. (I shouldn't be using the word cut.)

It will be the mistake of my life or the best thing I've ever done.

Why don't you get a life?

Thank you dad, I love you too. -_-

If my dad knew how much life I've got.

I hate it when I get told off when I've done nothing wrong. I just sat by Twitter last night after I actually had done my homework and talked with a friend of mine and he comes and askes me about school and just something that I can't answer to and he goes mad. Thank you very much. I had to go to bed at 10pm and just leave the people I was talking to. Since when did I go to bed before 11pm?

Urgh, and what I hate even more is that my parents always try to say: 'No I'm not mad at you, it's just that...' and then later they often try to hug me and say something wise.

I went to bed at 10pm as I said and there was like a storm outside, thunder and lightnings, etc. and I've got my roof-window so it sounds like a drum when it's raining and the lightnings were lightin up the room ever second minute. I don't get scared of those things, I just think it's cosy. But unfortuently I couldn't enjoy it just as much as I'd want to. I didn't cry. I've told myself never to cry again and yesterday it worked.

Urgh, yesterday was such a great day. I was in the right mood wich made everything so much better. I fooled around during the footballtraining and these things. It's just when I get home and argue with my parents I get so depressed.

I dreamed about this cutie last night. Oh my Gee, I love him. But mum woke me up before I really got to know him. FML. How the hell can people say that he's not beautiful? Because he is.

Good bye Killjoys, on sunday I'll try and buy the tickets for Rock for People. I'm gonna go there no matter what. Even if I have to go there on my own. Like I'll be 15 by then, I should be allowed to go on my own and my dad promised me that if MCR would come to Czech Republic, I would defenitly be there.

You're making me stupid

I hate him. I miss him. I love him.

i just get so pissed off. Why say A if you never say B. I miss you so much. It has been almost two years since that day out when we all were going separate paths and we'd probably never see each other again.

But then you show up. i hate FaceBook. it makes things/people I want to forget so close,and then you just ramdomly say something and then just go.

I hate you but I cannot just foget about how much i loved you back then.

I miss you.

All The Unicorns Are Messing With My Brain - I've Lost My Phone

I've been so messy the lates days. I bet it's the unicorns messing with me. lol. No but seriously I don't even remember my homework, I'm not just not doing it but I'm forgetting it as well.

Yesterday was okay, first football and then we went to Paul and Suzie. I'm actually fine with spending time with my parents and their friends. I've sort of started to understand that I'll probably never learn Aussie English. *sadface*

I'm looking forward for this Friday! We'll go to Spain, as I've probably told you. The funniest thing, and scariest, is that on Sunday, when we're going home again it's not clear that we'll come home because of it's going to be a strike on the airport in Mardid. Haha, what if we won't get home. This will be interesting... I think it will work out fine. Otherwise you'll have to come and get me in Madrid.

I did my SCHOOL4KILLJOYS homework yesterday. I think it turned out pretty okay. It's not the nicest car in the whole wide world but it was... OK. I really need to buy some new crayons or colour-pencils. Everything gets so pale with those I've got.

I'm sorry for being myself, I'm sorry for wearing the clothes you don't like, I'm sorry for not being good enough, I'm sorry for not acting like a bitch, I'm sorry for not being the one you want me to be, I'm sorry for keeping it ugly, I'm sorry for not being pretty, I'm sorry for not being skinny and fit, I'm sorry for every true word I say about you, I'm sorry for not being the best student with the best grades, I'm sorry for you being so disapointed all the time, I'm sorry for not caring.

Well in fact, I'm not sorry for being myself, I'm not sorry for wearing what I want, I'm not sorry for not being good enough, I'm not sorry for not acting like a bitch, I'm not sorry for not being the one you want me to become, I'm not sorry for keeping it ugly, I'm not sorry for not being pretty, I'm not sorry for not being skinny and fit, I'm not sorry for every true word I say about you, I'm not sorry for being the top-student, I'm not sorry for have just OK, grades and I'm deffently not sorry for not caring!

Hello people

I have to tell you this. It's like the funniest thing ever. I forgot my shoes in school. You know I've got those slippers druing the day and when I was on my way home on the bus I realised that I had forgotten to change my shoes!

I went like: "Gotta hide my feet, gotta hide my feet"

My sister laughed her ass off.

So my shoes are in school and tomorrow we're going to Prague for educational purposes. Wich means we'll try to find something historical and then go to Running Sushi. I promise that I will bring the camera! I'll have to walk around in Prague in my converse and without the thing for my feet. It will be a hell. Fuck!

Sometimes I'm just more blonde in my head than on my head. Lol.

I serously have to tell you. I'm sort of ot enjoying blogging as much as before. I just like to write my fanfic and daydream a little but it's not my thing, you know. Sorry.

I will keepwriting, but not as serious ar before.

Bye!

The feeling of being unable to breath.

There are not many grown up men in this world that can make me cry like a baby. When the guys lost, a big part of me died. I didn't burst right away, first I couldn't belive it, but then later when I tried to fall asleep it all came clear to me.

Fuck it.

Stupid Vitkovice.

I just didn't see that coming. After those two goals in a row I did not see that coming!

It will be forever 'till I go to Cez arena again. It will be forever 'till I see the guys again. And it will be forever again 'till I'll feel that happiness and love I only feel when I'm there. This is going to be a depressing summer. Shit, I hate this hopeless feeling!

And there's nothing I can do about it.

The guys truly deserved to win. They were the better team, still are, will always be.

...

This ain't no party, get of the dancefloor!

With mints being my life line I'm pretty unhappy... I did something I shouldn't have done: When everything was as worst I took one shot with my inhale asthma medication wich I know I should only use when I get really bad. I have to tell you, I'm glad I did it but only because I did I'm afraidthat it will happen again, and then I might get addicted and that's a problem!

I have to stop doing this, or I have to stop getting ill.

It's one way or another. (Are we talking about the Way brothers...? 'cause than I'm fine with both, lol)

I have to tell you, I had this strangest dream this night. It was about the hockey-guys and their cars, I don't remeber so much but in the end Koukal was giving me and Embla a ride home after the game, it all was kinda funny since I know he doesn't speak English and neither I or Embla speak Czech...

Oh my... It was one of the funniest, saddest and craziest dreams I ever dreamed.

Sometimes I feel like I dream too much about the hockey, but why not, it's a huge part of my life, why not be a huge part of my dreams?

I don't know how to say this but no, I'm not going to say it at all. There's thing thing that needs to be said, a secret that needs to be shared but I don't know who... My best friend wouldn't understand and she's got too much to deal with herself (her plans of taking over the world together with me! )

It feels better now when I've revealed that I at least have got a secret... Great! :)

Bye all!

I want to fall in love

I've always had a problem with falling in love too easy, but nowadays I haven't found anyone good enough. I miss the feeling when I meet the one, and I miss the feeling being close to someone I love. I've never had a boyfreind but I sure know what it's like to be in love. It makes it so much easier to get up in the morning thinking "Today I'm gonna meet him"...

The only bad thing is getting so hurt all the time.

Guys don't seem to like me, at least not as a girlfriend, more like frind, wich is good, but not great...